


Love Me Again

by ColeIsADreamer



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bucky needs a hug, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nipple Play, Oral, PTSD, Reunion Sex, Sam Wilson is awesome, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:59:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7029826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColeIsADreamer/pseuds/ColeIsADreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has not been ok since he woke up from being frozen. He hasn't been ok since Bucky's been back either. He avoids him when ever he enters the room because Bucky wasn't ready to be apart of Steve's friends and he didn't want to hurt anyone especially Steve because of what hydra did to him, But now he's better well, not all the way but he's more social and he comes around but Steve still thinks Bucky doesn't want anything to do with him. Cue small talk with Sam getting tired of these pining idiots and heart to heart with Steve and some reunion sexy times. Yes!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me Again

**Author's Note:**

> Oh these pining idiots are gonna be the death of us all. I stg! Have some stucky feels! XD I beta'd this myself. I've been working on and off on this so I hope it's ok.

Steve was distant ever since Bucky came back to him. But he tried not to be because he was so fuckin happy that he got him back but it seemed Bucky didn't want anything to do with him. So he gave him space. A lot of it. So much so that he never came around the team anymore. Steve would avoid Bucky just as much as it seemed Bucky would avoid him. At least that's how it was in the beginning. But it takes time to heal and Bucky was a lot better. He was being more social and coming around the team and making new friends. But now whenever Bucky enters a room and sees Steve, Steve automatically gets up and leaves. Steve leaves because he doesn't know if Bucky wants him. Wants him in the way that Steve has wanted him since he was old enough to know what love is. The others notice but don't say anything. But Sam would tell Bucky to give him time and he does but now Bucky's starting to get tired of it. He needs to talk to Steve if it's the last thing he does. He knows he's was being a a jerk in the beginning but he wasn't ready to be a part of the group. He just didn't want to hurt anyone especially Steve but it seems he hurt him anyway. So now he pins and oh does he pin. Sam having getting tired of all this pining from both of them tells Bucky that when he first met Steve "I asked him a question about what makes him happy? He answered I don't know. I knew he was lying and he was having a tough time. I mean I see it all the time from soldiers who come back and don't know what normal or happiness is anymore. Hell, I still feel that way sometimes. Moving on its hard, not going to lie but it helps when you have someone there with you. Then maybe just maybe you can find happiness somewhere. I know he needs you just like you need him. So you two need to talk asap. Or I'm locking y'alls asses in a room until you guys work it out." Bucky smiled he liked Sam. He was a good friend. He didn't pity him like some people would. He just told it like it was. It was refreshing. "Thanks Sam. Don't know how you put up with us." Sam smiled and gave him a one armed hug. Now to find captain dumbass.

Sam, of course tried getting Steve to see a therapist but of course Steve declined. As he told Sam, "how do I begin to describe what I'm feeling to a complete stranger who wouldn't understand?" Sam's reply was simple "Well, I know one person who you could talk to about all this. Talk to Bucky. Look, man he's learning to live again and he's making excellent progress since he's been here but man, he needs you too. I know you need him just as much. Talk to him. He might surprise you." Steve deflated and said he would try even though they both knew that he wouldn't. Steve was drowning and he needed Bucky just as much because even when he had nothing he had Bucky. To him it seemed it wasn't meant to be. Until later that night.

Dream-

The plane was falling towards the ice he griped the controls so hard he thought his hands might crack he could hear peggys voice calling to him in the background and then it was black. When he came too he was incased in ice and so cold he couldn't move. He could see water all around him and maybe some fish swimming? He wasn't sure. But all he knew was ice and all he knew was cold and that he was awake. Why was he awake? He should be in heaven with his mom and Bucky but no. He was in ice and he couldn't move nor breathe anymore. How is he alive? Or is he dead? He was in hell. That's what this was. He tried to scream but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried he was just there. Frozen with eyes wide open. Not able to move or scream. Just frozen.

 

That's when he woke up screaming and thrashing in the sheets trying to remove them feeling trapped but so cold.  
Tears came pouring down his face he was so so scared. His whole body was shaking with fear. He was so cold too cold he tried to move but something wouldn't let him. "No. No no no." He kept uttering. "So cold. Cold." He choked out. Then he felt warmth so much warmth he whimpered. Trying to bury himself inside that warmth a voice sounded out, "Shh.. It's ok.. I gotcha ya Stevie." A voice he hadn't heard in so long. "Bucky." He sobbed. "Sh.. It's ok sweetheart. It's ok." "I'm sorry. So so sorry." His eyes clinched closed feeling shame and tears run down his face.  
"No. No Stevie. None of that." He said while cupping his face.  
"Can ya open those pretty eyes for me eh? Com'n Stevie, please?"  
Steve for all his strength just couldn't he was so so tired and could only sob against Bucky.  
"Hey, take your time. I'm here. Not leavin you. Never again, ya here me?" He coaxed while wiping those tears away. 'God how long has Steve been like this?' He thought. He probably knew the answer too. Too long. He guessed. We'll never again he promised himself. He ain't leavin again. He messed up with Steve. He knows that now.. He knows Steve only stayed away because Bucky told him too. Steve never wanted to take away choice from Bucky. He's never had the chance to choose anything for 70 years. But now oh now. He realizes he never wanted Steve to go away. How could he do that to him? The one person who clearly takes on everyone else's burden but doesn't let anyone help him with his own issues. Well, that stops today. Bucky's so determined to help Steve see true happiness if it's the last thing he does. Then Steve took a deep breathe and after slowly letting all the air out and finally opening those sad blue eyes he spoke.  
"Ever- ever since I woke up, I-I haven't been Steve Rogers in a long time. The guy who went into the ice is gone. S-Something else came out. " Steve said staring at the wall. Bucky just clutched him closer.  
"I-I fell- gasp- in the ice just days after you died buck a-and I woke up to hearing that we won the war only to be in another war just two weeks after I woke up. I felt like I lost you just yesterday only to learn that I was asleep for 70 years. 70 years and I- he choked on a sob.

"I had nothing to show for it. I died for nothing. And hydra- he sobbed out-was growing and had you the whole time without me knowing and everyone I loved was gone. Just gone. I was so alone. I didn't want to be Captain America anymore. I- I tried so so hard to live I almost- Bucky tightened his grip on Steve horrified to know that Steve- Bucky's heart shattered- but I didn't coz then who would save all those people?" Steve choked. "It had to be me. I knew no one else would so I joined shield after New York and I thought I had purpose again." Bucky couldn't take this anymore; tears were falling down his own face. He whimpered clutching him closer. "But then everything went to hell and I had to fight yet another war. It's like what Ultron said "I don't have a purpose unless I'm fighting in a war. I can't run away from war no matter how hard I try. I'm sorry buck. I'm so sorry." He buried his face in Bucky's chest. Bucky sobbed.

"Steve, I'm here. Ok. I'm not leaving. Never again, ya here me." He cried out. "And screw everyone. I'm serious Steve" He said as he furiously wiped his tears away. You once told me that Dr. Erskine said that you stay not as a good soldier but a good man. You remember that, huh? Well, he's right doll coz you are a good man. The best man that I have ever known, you hear me, doll, we are retiring for good ya hear me? No more fighting. Just no more."  
Steve looked up so sad yet hopeful that he didn't have to carry the whole world on his broad shoulders. He was drowning and Bucky's heart shattered seeing that look. He never wanted to see that look ever again. He vowed to make Steve smile again if it was the last thing he did. Steve buried his face closer into Bucky. Trying to stop the tears. "Hey I'm here, I'm here." He kept saying over and over. Placing kiss after kiss on Steve's head, face anywhere he could reach. 'I love you, I love you,' they said. They didn't go far but just being with each other for now.  
That night they feel asleep night mare free clutching each other never letting go.

The next day sunlight filtered in bathing the two occupants in warmth. Bucky was the first to wake up. He looked down at the body next to him and smiled. 'God he's so beautiful' he thought. Steve looked like an angel next to him. He placed a kiss on his temple careful not to wake him up. 'I could get used to this' he thought. Waking up everyday to this. It's paradise. Lost in thought Steve opened his eyes to warmth so much warmth. He snuggled closer before remembering last night. He panicked to afraid if Bucky didn't want him when he heard: "hey, sweetheart stop thinking.. I'm not going anywhere Stevie.. Never again." Then he felt a kiss along his temple. "Bucky." He choked out. "Sh.. I'm here sweetheart. M' not leavin." He felt those arms tighten. Steve looked up at Bucky looking so lost yet filled with a little hope.  
"Ya mean it?" He had that look again.  
"Yeah, Stevie. I meant all of it baby. No more fighting. You-we deserve to be happy, yeah?"

Steve nodded with so much sadness in his eyes. Bucky sighed then said, "Sam told me a little about how alone you've been." Steve looked down ashamed. "Hey, he said cupping his chin, never again ok? You need to talk to me, when it gets bad again no matter what ok? I know your drowning Stevie, I just wanna help you. You carry so much of other people's burdens that you don't stop to think of yourself after everything you've done for this country or anyone else. Including me. Stevie, I hate seeing you suffer like this. You should think about talking to someone too. I know coz I do. And it takes time but it helps. Just think about it ok? At least try." He said coaxing. Steve nodded feeling tears fall down. "Ok, buck." He said softly knowing that Bucky's right and Sam- god how will he begin to repay him. He owes Sam Wilson so much. After helping with DC and finding Bucky and brining him home. He needs to do something nice for him with keeping up with Steve's stubborn self. "Baby doll, I don't wanna lose you again." Bucky said softly. "You won't buck. Not any more, I promise" Steve said with a new found determination. Bucky pulled him closer kissing along his temple. "I'm with ya till the end of line." "Back at ya buck" Steve whimpered.  
Bucky just pressed his lips all along Steve's face. Getting anything he could reach. They all saying 'I love you. And I'm here.'

"Shh.. I got you."  
"Bucky" Steve choked out.  
"I know. I know doll. I'm here. I'm here." He kept saying over and over in between kisses. "No more fighting. No more missions." Steve hiccuped "promise?"  
"I promise doll." Steve felt all that burden leave him. He felt much more lighter than he has in years. Bucky could see it in his eyes. Light. Not darkness. Just light. Bucky wanted to see this for the rest of his life if Steve will have him. He cupped his face in his hand and softly stroked his cheek. Steve leaned into his touch craving it.  
"Buck" he whimpered crashing his lips against Bucky's. Steve held him tighter too afraid that this was all a dream. But Bucky made sure it wasn't. "I'm here" he said. "I'm real baby. I'm here" He whispered knowing Steve still needed proof that this was real and he isn't a dreaming. Steve kissed any part of Bucky he could reach. He was floating so high. He never wanted to leave. Kiss after kiss they all said I love you and I'm never gonna leave you. Bucky kissed along Steve's neck nipping it slightly and Steve moaned. Hearing that noise caused Bucky to growl out "mine."

"Buck." He pleaded. Moving his hips automatically. Bucky smirked. "I gotcha Stevie. Gonna make ya feel so so good. You want that baby?" He said softly against Steve's lips. "Yeah, yeah buck." His hips moving frantically trying to get some relief. "Oh, oh buck" he moaned. Bucky moved so sweetly against Steve. Feeling himself go hard against Steve. Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky's waist, his feet laying against his ass trying to get more friction. "Oh, uh uh" he panted. Bucky whimpered. He could do this all day. Make his Stevie so sweet for him and take him so high he'd never wanted to leave. "Oh, baby, so sweet for me aren't ya?"

"Yeah, buck. Only you." Steve whimpered. He was getting close. "So- I'm so close" Steve pleaded moving frantically, trying to chase that sweet release. Bucky immediately slowed down a little. He didn't want this to end. Steve whimpered. "Sh.. Sh.. S'ok Baby I know. Promised I make ya feel so good. And I will baby I will." Bucky kissed him gently. "Tell me if you don't like something and we'll stop ok?" Steve frowned and said "you won't hurt me buck, never could." "I know baby, I know but jus' in case alright? you, tell me if you don't like something m'kay?" He said very serious. "Ok, buck ok." Steve smiled. Bucky kissed him so gently. Steve moaned. He gently tugged Steve's shirt off and seeing him all laid out looking so desperate.

It made Bucky feel so primal and protective of this man. It made him utter "mine" again. Steve smiled "yours." Then Bucky crashed his lips against Steve's. Pouring everything he felt into that kiss while extracting all these sweet noises out of Steve. It was beautiful thing to behold.

Kissing down his chin and neck Bucky was feeling insatiable. All the noises Steve was making, he growled "oh darlin, got me goin crazy right now." Steve uttered "uh, uh, uh" while moving his hips so sweetly. Bucky groaned interlacing his hands with Steve and holding them above his head while kissing and nipping Steve's chest. Steve moaned out "oh, oh buck, please, please." Bucky smiled as he brushed his lips against Steve's nipples. Steve pushed his chest out trying to get more friction "Oh, oh buck."

"Hmm.. Got some pretty tits doll. so pretty. All laid out like this for me."

"Yes! only you buck! Only you. Oh!" Steve moaned after Bucky nipped at a nipple and soothed it with his tongue. His hands gently cupped Steve's pecs pushing them together creating cleavage and just sucking them leaving love bites in his wake.

"Oh! Uh oh buck!" Steve moaned. Arching his chest out trying to get more of Bucky's mouth on him.

He continued playing with his tits as Bucky so lovingly calls them. "Hmm baby, so pretty like this. Bet you could cum from this huh?" Steve cried out "yes! Oh buck yes!" Bucky smirked. Knowing they'll have to try that sometime. But not now. He had more pressing matters. He moved down Steve's body and started nuzzling his cock through his pants. Steve's hands had wandered to his pecs squeezing them and tugging on his nipples. While Bucky gently pulled his pants down throwing them to the side and started mouthing his quickly hardening cock through his briefs into his mouth just suckling on it. Steve moaned out "uh uh oh buck! Oh!" Bucky smirked. "So hard for me ain't ya? He uttered. Then he looked up at Steve and almost came just from the sight of Steve playing with his tits. "S'hot baby, just look at you playin with those pretty tits. Hmm.." He said while nuzzling his cock Steve moved his hips automatically. Kissing the head Bucky gently so gently pulled the remaining clothing down and off throwing that off to the side and groaned at the sight that greeted him. "Oh, baby, so hmm..." He said as he mouthed at his balls. The weight of them feeling so good in his mouth. Steve was whimpering trying to get some relief. Bucky pulled Steve's thighs apart trying to get more of him.

"Hmm.. taste so sweet" He said as he pulled off next mouthing at the head which was looking an angry shade of red.

"Uh uh uh" Steve was at a loss for words. He felt so good. Bucky clutched Steve's thighs in his hands bobbing his head taking more of Steve into his mouth. "Uh, oh buck! More please!" Steve was clutching his chest trying to hold on. Then Steve tried warning Bucky he was close. "I'm-oh buck! S-so close!" "Hmm... Come for me doll." He growled out. Then Steve thrusted once and came and came. "Uh, uh uh buck!" He moaned still playing with his pecs. Bucky continued bobbing his head milking him for all he was worth. Steve felt like he was floating so high he was so warm. Then he all but collapsed. Then he started softening a little and Bucky continued to suckling the head a little getting the remaining drops and gently pulled off swallowing what he could.

Kissing his thigh he said "so good baby. Did so good." Kissing up to Steve's lips and saying how good he was and "love you Stevie." Steve could taste himself a little on Bucky but still was so good. "Hmm... baby got me going so crazy right now" Bucky groaned. Steve could feel how hard Bucky was and moved a hand down to palm him through his pants. Bucky thrusted once into his hand and said "hmm.. Steve you don't have too." "But I want to buck." he pleaded. "You sure?" "Yes, been waiting for this for 90 yrs. I love you Buck. Only ever been you." Then Bucky kissed him. Steve continued palming him until Bucky brushed his hand away and threw his clothing off so fast and then he was mouthing at Steve's entrance and hearing the noises Steve made almost made him come. He wrapped a hand around himself staving off the orgasm he knew would've had and he wanted oh he wanted to come in Steve so bad.

"Hmm.. he moaned, so sweet doll."

"Buck! Oh! there's lube in-uh!- the night- uh!- stand!" Steve barely choked out.

Kissing the tip of Steve's cock he said "m'kay.. Gonna take care of you doll." then he opened the drawer and picked out the lube. Setting it aside Bucky uncapped the lube and spread some around Steve's aching hole rubbing his finger tips against it. "Oh! Buck!" He moaned. Then he slowly pushed one in. Going back and forth getting Steve used to the sensation. Then there were two, then three and before Steve knew it he was hard again and then Bucky hit that spot that made his hips arch off the bed. "Buck! There! Oh there!" He moaned trying to thrust back on his fingers. Bucky continued hitting that spot inside Steve until Steve was whimpering with need. "Buck! S'close please! I want!"

"What'd you want baby?" He growled.  
"You! Please!"  
"Uh uh, use your words baby."  
"Uh! Your cock buck! Please! Need it so bad!" He moaned. And who was Bucky to deny him. He slowly pulled his fingers out making sure Steve could feel every last one. "Uh! Oh buck!" Then he took hold of him self and slowly spread some lube stroking his hard cock. "Oh baby, feels s'good." He groaned. Then he picked up Steve's legs and wrapped them around his waist and pushed the blunt head of his cock in. Once the head was past the rim he had to stop or he would've came right then. "Uh, move please buck." Then inch by inch he was balls deep inside Steve. He stopped getting Steve used to the sensation. "S'tight babydoll s'tight" then he started to move slow then hard. "Oh! Harder buck!" Thrusting in and out Bucky growled out "mine. Mine. Mine."

"Yours buck! Only yours!"  
Then Bucky hit that spot and Steve howled "there!" Bucky continued hitting that spot over and over.  
"Oh! Buck!" Steve didn't know what he was saying anymore. All he knew was Bucky. "Ahh! buck!" Bucky lifted Steve's hips and squeezing the globes of his ass he jack hammered his cock hitting that spot. "Uh uh uh. Buck!" "Oh! Stevie, feels good. Feels good. Oh! Stevie!" He hit that spot one more time and then Steve let go. He came and came and came. Spurting thick ropes of cum up his stomach and chest. Some even hit his chin. That did it for Bucky. Bucky continued thrusting hitting that spot milking his cock for all it was worth. Some started to leak out of Steve's well looked after hole. Bucky collapsed on Steve's chest still shallowly thrusting every drop of cum. Bucky was breathing deeply against Steve's chest.

"Hmm.. Did so good baby. So good for me." Kissing every part of Steve he could reach letting him know how much he loves him and "so perfect Stevie." Bucky was about to pull out when Steve pulled him back not ready to have Bucky leave him yet. "No, not yet, please buck." He whimpered.  
"Shh... It's ok doll, I'm right here." He said pecking Steve's lips. "See? He said with a thrust, You feel that baby?" "Yeah, buck" he said smiling. Bucky smiled back. "See? -kiss- I'm here-kiss- thrust- I'm here." Over and over he kept thrusting so sweetly. "Oh buck, uh!" Then Steve came again a little burst of cum spurted it's way dribbling down his cock. Then Bucky slowed down kissing Steve telling him how perfect he is and he loves him so much. "Love ya too buck" then Bucky pulled out and laid kisses all on Steve's face.

He made his way to Steve's cock and gently sucked on it a little getting the remaining cum. "Ah, buck. Yes!" He started shallowing thrusting more of his cock as Bucky cleaned him. He started get a little hard again but not to be unbearable yet. It felt good. Then Bucky let his cock go with a pop. "Hmm.. baby doll -kiss- so good. Love you Stevie." "Love you buck" he said with a smile. He couldn't get enough of Steve and vise versa. Steve closed his eyes feeling so elated for the first time in years he was on cloud nine. Bucky kissed him once more before he gently got up saying "be right back doll, gonna get the bath running k?" "M'kay" he said happily dozing off a little.

Once they water was hot enough Bucky gently picked Steve up and carried him to the bathroom and laid him down in the tub and got in behind him and pressing him against his chest gently cleaning them both and massaging Steve's body who loved every second of it. Which turned in to some sweet love making in the tub not that Steve minded in the least. Taking care of Steve was always ingrained in Bucky. But he loved doing it. Just seeing Steve happy now is how he wants to see him all the time. Feeling loved and cared for is worth it. By god he was gonna do it for the rest of his long life. "Feel better baby?" He said softly against Steve's ear. "Hmm." Steve nodded content with his eyes closed. Bucky kissed his temple and said "good. Just want to see ya happy doll." "I'm am buck. Happy. Thank you." He tilted his head towards Bucky for a kiss. Bucky happily obliged him. "Your welcome sweetheart." Later Bucky was gonna make him break feast in bed and just be cozy for the rest of the day. Steve just snuggled closer feeling so loved by the one man who means everything to him and by God they deserved some peace. Even though Steve wasn't completely ok he will be. Bucky will make sure of that. As he's told Steve he's with him till the end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> Thx for reading guys! Hope I did ok for my second time posting. Kudos and comments are welcomed!


End file.
